"Don't just do something, sit there."   (view our quote database)


All public journal entries by jferngrove

We are the stars inside the Earth

Does the Buddha ever speak of our relationship with Earth?
I do not recall him doing so
But he always chose some park or special place in nature
In which to conduct his tranquil abiding.

Vedanta speaks of being one with everything,
But is not everything larger than all conception?
Earth, Us, Each other
Each becomes one with the other through the third.
Each existing for the other in the third.

It is the Earth that is the Whole of which we are a part
This Earth is fundamental to our sleeping, waking, dreaming
And from the Earth is where we source the deep vibrations
That are antidote to the buzzings of the separated mind

Seek first the midpoint
Found where force is finally exhausted
And surrender is embraced and is embracing

Become like living rock
Become the trees, the birds, the sky
Become the knowing of the Earth

Finding stillness at the midpoint in between
Balancing the egocentric and allocentric views

Looking out from the cavity of the self in all directions
Looking in towards the time-borne substance from all directions
Hold, as a Star, perched upon the edges of the Earth
Become the Earth and source the deep vibrations

The goal of Man
Is to see the Stars as the Earth sees them
To be with the Stars as the Earth is with them
We are the dreams of Stars scattered on the surface of the Earth
Who must become the Stars inside the Earth
We build the shining vault within.


Posted: 8 months ago

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On thought

There is someone posting a blog from this site and an article I read today claims that believing that one can stop thoughts is meditation is erroneous and not even possible. I have thought about this and must disagree. Even if suspending thought completely is not actually possible it is still important to recognise, value and hold on to the gaps between thoughts as much as possible because that, in my experience, is where the 'magic usually happens. By thoughts I am talking about the inner stream of spoken words and imagery, but not the decisions and impulses of the unknown actor who guides and controls the process. Maybe that comes later? I don't know. The 'magic' is where we connect with something 'higher', 'deeper' or 'greater than ourselves; a higher self or higher mind and something which I am lately referring to as 'buddhi' in no particular technical sense. Buddhi is like a mental substance just a brief connection with which can be highly transformative, ably to positively modify personality, attitudes, dislodge negative habits and patterns and generally illuminate one's experience with wisdom and insight.


Posted: 9 months ago

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A good one

Windows decided to reboot itself somewhere around the 25 min mark so this morning's never got logged. Guess I'll have to do it again later today.

Shame, such a good one. First time in weeks I woke up without nightmares, headache and falling. Just got straight up from the bed and into the meditation. Could feel an ease and looseness that feels like the rewards for the efforts of the last few weeks. I feel this new moon deeply.

Realisation, to hold concentration there has to be effort, at least in the beginning. And if there is effort there will tension. There will be some tightness of breath, some clenching of muscles, but you can't keep running off to fix these things. To get to focus you have to leave the body to take care of itself and trust it to learn to look after these things

Question, is it right that the object of concentration should always be somewhere or something in my head. My objects tend to cluster around
*) sensation of physical breath at the bridge of the nostrils,
*) a semi-visual inner gazing on the line between the eyes
*) a brightness, patch or ball, sometimes rotating at the forehead
*) a perception or visualisation of light flooding down from above and filling the cavity of the head and upper body.

It's not like I push these things, but more like a set of accumulated habits that the unknown doer tends to cycle through. I guess at this stage it doesn't matter what or where you choose, but to choose and then stick with it.


Posted: 9 months ago

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Hard to connect with why I am doing this

Today pain came early, but setting a goal certainly, and perversely helped with sitting through it. A further improvement in ease of breathing, almost a full arching breath. Mind still feels like Piccadilly Circus after too many beers, and behind it all a dourness of spirit that waits numbly for some kind of genuine connection. Sitting at the door I guess.


Posted: 9 months ago

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A blizzard of numbers

Playing sudoku for hours until late into the night, because you can't sleep and are too tired to do anything more constructive is really counterproductive. Finding those numbers is a classic dopamine reward circuit that might get tripped hundreds of times in a session and so your brain is filled with numbers whenever you close your eyes for hours afterwards. This is pernicious and robotic and you should be able to stop yourself doing it.

The breathing continues to get easier and pain in legs and torso is more manageable. The whole thing still feels like trench warfare but it is more in the mental now than the physical. I have still yet to connect with any genuine tranquillity.


Posted: 9 months ago

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Don't spoil it

So I have been meditating at least twice a day, sometime 3 for about a fortnight now. Also frequently meditating informally, out of posture as and when two or three times a day, sometimes for longer than I can manage in posture. This is certainly the most intensive burst of practice I have embarked on in my life, and actually keeping the practice up seems, touch wood, to be effortless. Against this, it must be remembered that it has arisen as a response to a downturn in mental health to a point where meditation and reading are the only positive activities I seem able to pursue.

 

The past two weeks have been predomi9nantly about learning to breathe through and around the tension in my belly, which is getting easier every day but most of my meditation is still characterised between a flickering of attention between the breath in the nostrils where I want it and the effort around breathing in my belly where I don't. Still, last week, the effort to meditate at all would leave me with churning tension down there for hours afterwards. Now, I am able to hold for 30 minutes with occasional focus and some capacity to breathe.

 

As to focus and stillness of mind, I think the trick might be not to try too hard. So long as you put some effort in there are times when focus and quiet just come of their own accord. The point is that when these come just to value and cherish them, so as to cultivate their more frequent arising.


Posted: 9 months ago

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