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All public journal entries by mumijary41

Omg Medivate is pretty cool

I didn't know you could make journal entries here. 

I've been fappin and watchin stuff but I never actually jizzed. Semen retention is something I have gotten the hang of. My parents infuriate me. Fuck this house. I need to get out of here. I hate bein gin the midst of my parents because it is so restricting. It is like I actually am under a religion here. The fuck. 

Leaving this house is truly the only motivation I have to do anything. I just hate the uncertainty of things. Landing this interview and acing it. The fuck man. Oh my god. I'm gonna have to be on my best behavior. FUck my dad. Fuck all this shit. I need to get the fuck out of here - I'm at serious risk of ending up like the rest of the men in this generation who waste away at home. No. Josh did it; Josh fucking did it. I can do it too. Fuck this place man. 

What is this fury and where is it coming from? Is it the fire that burns from the desire to help myself?

How can I love and help others when I myself am I need of help and freedom? 

If I didn't fap, I don't know what the heck I would be doing today... I would definitely not feel this fire...Perhaps it is because I retained the semen. Also, I got to expel alot of the shit that has been marinating in my belly for weeks. The fapping seemed to have relaxed my colon. Was this really a bad thing to do? Why don't I feel guilt? Will I experience withdrawal or is that simply a false psychological experience? It is not morally wrong to masturbate, what the fuck. It is fuck9ing dehabilitating to feel guilt over such an action - to feel guilt over one's own sexuality? Over the inherent nature of oneself? Over oneself? This is to feel guilt over existing. What the fuck has religion taught us? 


Posted: 3 years ago

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