Medivate Forum

What made me start meditating was the perception of a gap. I'd learned about Buddhist philosophy, and done a fair amount of reading related to that, and I really liked all that I heard. I thought, "It'd be pretty great to be able to live like this." But when it came down to it, I frequently found myself acting in ways that didn't accord with that desire. I especially remember anger as something I felt (and found myself acting on) completely out of proportion to what made sense.
What I came to realize, and this is where some prodding Fred offered did help, was the meditation was the best possible way to close that gap between how I wanted to move through the world and how I actually did. By increasing my awareness for "practice" periods on the cushion, I find I have more awareness off of it. I find it's much less common that I suddenly go "why am I so angry right now?" and much more common that I sense "I may feel angry soon." I think this distance between when you can usefully use knowledge of an emotion and when you actually have knowledge of an emotion is crucial. Closing that gap gives me a feeling of "space" around my thoughts and emotions that is so so valuable. That's the reason I keep meditating.