All posts tagged “helpful”

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davidbhayes — 14 years ago — permalink

I struggle to think of a single time or place that I thought "this is because of meditation." I definitely  remember multiple times being surprised by my ability to stay "controlled" in situations when I would previously have started to become quite reactive or angry. It wasn't as though I found myself able to react wisely, but I first perceived some sense of space around my reaction to events that went different than I'd like. In being able to better see my space around the reaction, I was able to start to change it.
This feels tremendously vague, but the very vagueness of this kind of answer is one of things that I think makes it hard to feel confident that your pracitice is worth continuing to dedicate time to. This is why we created the Daily Life portrait so that vague senses over time can add up to quantifiable progress you can see. It's still not everything we'd like it to be, but I think a new meditator taking it regularly would see good progress over time.

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emmacat — 14 years ago — permalink

I vividly remember doing a 180 on a coworker I was having issues with. The very thought of this person made me nauseated, we were always snapping at each other and it was just unsustainable. Then after I had been practicing for a while (and reading a lot), one day I said hi to her in the morning, smiling. I didn't even realize I was smiling at her until I saw her puzzled look. I just started seeing her as a person and not as that person who got on my nerves. I started wondering about her life, her past, her struggles and realized she was just like me, basically. Still annoying on the job, but I looked at her actions and thought: "she's just trying to do good for herself". She's confused, not evil. And I really thought that, in a non condescending way, I felt for her and I was absolutely shocked. I started looking at people's potential instead of their shortcomings. I'm always amazed at  how meditating gives me the space to empathize with people. 

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davidbhayes — 14 years ago — permalink

I started looking at people's potential instead of their shortcomings.

I really like that way of describing the distinction. It rings true to me, and I've never heard it before.

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