Medivate Forum

Obviously "tried" can be a bit of a fuzzy thing. But one "attempt" really caught in my mind.
I'd put together a little stack of somewhat firm pillow to sit on, and I got comfortable. And I sat there. Breath in, breath out. "Huh, I wonder what that thing over there is? …" Return. Breath in, breath out. Gone. … I managed to stay with this cycle for I'd guess five minutes, though I wasn't making any effort to track time or get to some benchmark, and then I thought "I suck at this and it's no fun." And I got up and I left.
That basic story had probably played out at least five different times in slightly different forms for the previous five years. On my own, without any guideline or social pressure, I just kind of "bounced off" meditation because it's kind of hard and frustrating. I'd do it with a group, or a friend, or alone, once and then forget the whole idea. (Most of my life I've been the kind of person who does things that they're naturally good at and runs from almost all other activities. I've gotten better at it, but that's the logic I'm describing here.)
Anyway, this time I'd recognized the cycle and really had some resolve that I'd come back. I left the stack of pillows in the disused corner of a room, and I earnestly intended to try this for at least three times before I'd give up. And so I came back. And it was still really hard and frustrating for me — the disappointment that I couldn't do this "simple" thing of staying with my breathing got to me — but I'd heard enough about the good of meditation, and I'd listened to enough dharma talks that I wasn't under the false illusion that I was the only one this activity could be difficult for.
So I came back the next day. And it was a bit easier, but I still didn't manage five minutes. And then I forgot, and came back the day after. And after a while on intending to do it regularly I hit a consistent five minutes every day. And I thought "Ten minutes would be an eternity, but I should try." And I've pretty much been going like that ever since.